I freeze. Stunned. Speechless. He looks so hopeful. So optimistic. But I can’t. I just met him. He could be crazy. Of course, he’s crazy, he’s an actor! But he seems nice and genuine and seemingly not crazy. Maybe I should…
“No. I’m sorry. I can’t.”
“What?” Liv interjects. “Can you give her a minute to think it over? She’ll get back to you.”
“Oh, sure. Okay. I’ll just go take care of that guy. Let me know if you need anything else.” Brandon turns away quickly with an air of defeat.
Liv swivels to face me and leans in close. “Bex.” She slow blinks. “I cannot believe what I just heard. No, scratch that. I can believe it and it’s got to stop. Now.”
“What? I just met him. How am I already supposed to have dinner with him?” I protest.
“Listen to me. You know what you’re missing? The yes factor. How long have you spent saying no to life, no to romance, or even potential romance, and no to just one date? It’s time for a U-turn to become Yes-Bex.”
One thing about Brandon I do know is that he must make a strong drink because Liv seems positively manic right now. Or maybe it’s the jet lag.
She continues with urgency, as if she’s telling me secret plans to invade Fort Knox. “For the next seven days while I’m in town, you’re going to say yes. Yes to opportunity, yes to stepping out of your comfort zone, yes to adventure. Don’t worry, I’ll be your wingwoman. But, from here on out, you say yes.”
Liv looks at me expectantly, waiting for me to say something as I let her words soak in. She’s right. I’ve fooled myself into thinking that I’ve put myself out there when, in reality, I’ve just dipped my toe in the pool. I’ve patted myself on the back for signing up for dating apps, but then I never go on a date. I’ve had friends beg to set me up with someone. I reluctantly agree, but when it comes to scheduling, I’m always “busy.” Poor Maddie has been used as an excuse time and again when, in fact, even Maddie has been encouraging me to date. And now, when I meet someone in the world, organically, like I’ve always wanted, the first word out of my mouth is “no.”
If I don’t stop saying no to the possibility of love, how will anything change? Maybe it is time to start saying—
“Yes?” I smile. “Fine, you’re right. It’s time to add the Yes Factor to the equation.”
Once I told Brandon that yes, I’d love to get a bite after his shift, he’s been checking in with us at our little corner of the bar in between taking care of the steady stream of thirsty customers. We’re really clicking. Who knew real-life encounters could be so easy?
“Still okay with those Kentucky sours?” Brandon says, as he plucks the little umbrella from my glass and moves to tuck it behind my right ear. I’m a little startled, but this small gesture is so playful that I lean in and let him do it. Liv squeezes my left thigh under the bar.
“Yes!” I say a little too loudly. “Um, yes, thank you.” I raise my hand and touch the delicate paper of the umbrella to make sure it’s still there. I feel like a teenager again, wanting to squeal with boy craziness.
Brandon leans over the bar. “All right, looks like I’m done here. Liv, do you want to join us? I realize you’re only in town for such a short time. I don’t want to take you away from your Bex. Come with us!”
“Thank you, but I’m so tired from the flight and need to get some rest. Jet lag!” she says, with no trace of fatigue in her voice. “You two go on. Bex, I’ve only had one drink so I can drive your car home and Brandon can drop you off later.”
“Oh, no, just take an Uber. I’ll drive my own car. Brandon and I can just go separately.”
Brandon interrupts my babbling. “Great idea. I’ll bring her home later. But not too late.” Then with a wink. “I promise.”
“Um, okay,” I say to Brandon with a smile, although I’m starting to freak out. Is this really happening? “Can you give me a minute? We’re just gonna run to the restroom.”
In the privacy of the ladies’, I’m still not able to get it all out. “Wha…You…I can’t…” I utter in breathless staccato to Liv.
Liv puts up a hand. “The Yes Factor, remember? This is your first chance to say y-e-s. It’s just some food with a nice guy.” Off my doubtful look, she continues. “You aren’t saying yes to marriage, you’re not saying yes to sex—although maybe you will later. Just yes to sharing some food with another human.”
Her hand goes up again as she knows I’m about to protest. “It’s just a bite.”
She knows she’s right and I know she’s right, as much as I don’t want to admit it. So, I pull my lipstick out of my purse, slide on a fresh coat, give my hair a little ruffle and walk out the door.
“You have a daughter who’s thirteen? What a blessing.” Brandon’s chin rests on his hand as he leans on the high table at the Tiki Taco, a Hawaiian/Mexican fusion joint. “I always wanted kids, but my ex just wasn’t interested. That’s why I started subbing. I love kids. But my ex really didn’t want to have any.” He doesn’t sound bitter, just sad.
This is about the twentieth time he’s brought up his ex. I should have suspected something was amiss right away when he mentioned meeting her at the Fiddler audition. That’s not normally something most people would mention after meeting someone for all of ten seconds.
“I’m sorry about that, Brandon. That must have been hard for you.” This conversation has been spiraling downward ever since we left The Vacancy. It’s like the florescent lights of this taco joint have illuminated all of his sorrows. “How long ago did you get divorced?” His wounds seem so fresh, I’m guessing a year, tops.
“It’s been eleven years. Seems like yesterday.” He looks away and grabs a paper napkin from the metal container on the tabletop. Are his eyes glassy?
“Uh…I’m sorry to hear that.” This is all feeling a bit much. It’s obvious his baggage is a heavy load he doesn’t bear well. “Do you mind if we head out? I’m beat.”
“Oh, sure. Sure.” He finishes the remaining bite of his Maui Me taco and we head for the door. “It’s been great hanging out with you, Bex. You are so easy to talk to.” I return his watery smile with a tight-lipped grin. It’s time for this date to end.
It’s nearly eleven o’clock when we pull up in front of my house. I don’t like the idea of someone I just met knowing my address, but Liv thought it would be fine if he gave me a ride home. After that disappointment of a date, I wish I hadn’t. I sat in silence for the entire ride home except for saying “turn here” or “get in your left lane.” The chemistry between us at The Vacancy has fizzled out like a Fourth of July sparkler.
“Oh, no, that’s okay,” I say with a bright voice after he offers to walk me to my front door. Realizing I’ve said no instead of yes, but the bucks gotta stop somewhere. I said yes once, and after the taco tedium, that’s the only yes Brandon will be getting from me. “Liv will probably be asleep and I’m just gonna go to bed.” It’s a lame excuse but I can’t bring myself to say no flat out.